| For your convenience you can now listen to Fr. Bob’s reflection, click here. |
23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time
Wrong Against Brother
9-6-20 |
| It
is said that the only person who can hurt us is someone we love and the
deeper the love the worse the hurt. A total stranger can hurt us
physically, but only someone we love- a trusted friend- can injure us
emotionally. Like most generalizations, that seems like an
overstatement. My guess is that we have all been hurt by a stranger or
someone we hardly knew. |
| When
we were small, perhaps other children left us out of their games and
that hurt. When we were adolescents, others may have laughed at us for
any number of reasons; that hurt. As adults, we may have been treated
with contempt by a fellow worker or neighbor; and that can hurt. But,
the people who can hurt us most are those we love. Have you ever found
out that someone you trusted lied to you? When that happens it is not
easy to get over it. |
| Trust
that had been built up over years can be destroyed in an hour. When we
are used and abused by someone we love it is a painful experience. Jesus
speaks about this in today’s gospel. He began by saying, “If your
brother or sister should commit some wrong against you- and that is what
we are talking about-when someone close to us hurts us, what should we
do?” Well, Jesus does not give us a set of hard rules to be followed in
detail. |
| But,
He does give us some insights. First, do not nurse our hurts. They will
pass and be forgotten, if we would allow it. But, our tendency is to
let them accumulate. We often add the hurts of today to the hurts of
yesterday. And, in no time we end up carrying more than the human spirit
can handle. Life cannot be lived that way, we have to let some things
go. I heard about a government office that requested permission to
destroy some dead files. |
| They
were out of date, useless and taking up space. After a long delay, the
reply came back from the central agency. Permission granted to destroy
the dead files, but be sure to make copies of everything. Do we have
files in our lives like that? They serve no useful purpose, all they do
is to keep us reminded of past wrongs and they occupy so much emotional
space. Then there is the opposite temptation. Instead of stuffing our
hurts down on the inside, we may talk about them to anyone who will
listen. |
| Jesus
had this human tendency in mind when He said; keep it between the two
of you. A visit with the person who has done us wrong might help to heal
the hurt. Sharing our grievance with everyone cannot possibly help and
it might do greater damage. As a story is passed from person to person,
it is distorted and then it gets back to the person involved. By this
time, they may not even recognize it. |
| And
the gap between you is wider than ever. When we are hurt, it is usually
not a good idea to suffer in silence. We may need to talk, but not to
the whole world. The best place to start is with the one who did the
hurting. |
| Right
at the end of the gospel, Jesus says, “If everything fails, treat the
person who has hurt you as a Gentile or Tax Collector.” Which means in
modern language, “Let them go.” Has someone done you wrong? Do you feel
hurt by the words or deeds of someone? Do not nurse it, or rehearse it.
Make your best effort to set things right, if that fails, let the person
go and let the hurt go. Never allow the attitudes or actions of another
to poison your life. And, always remember the words of Jesus, “Father
forgive.” |
| Or
in the words of Archbishop Tutu of South Africa, “Sometimes, the victim
just has to forgive in order just to live.” While reading this homily, I
was struck very forcefully by the injunction of Jesus. If you are
offering your gift at the altar and there you remember that your brother
or sister has something against you. Leave your gift there before the
altar and go first to be reconciled with your brother or sister and then
come and offer your gift. Have you ever done that? Do you need to? |
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